Queer How Things Work Out
by ItsThatGirlAgain
Summary: Hermione's got another reunion to go to! And this time it's with her Dad's family of posh snots; blech. And get this- it's at the Malfoy Hotel and Resort in Southampton! Can it get any worse for Hermione? Although with Draco around, maybe it won't be so bad. *Companion fic to Class Reunions*
1. Prologue: You'll Never Guess

**Queer How Things Work Out**

**Prologue**

**You'll Never Guess**

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**AUTHOR's NOTE**

**Hello there lovelies! Good to see you all again, so I just put out Class Reunions a while ago, and I'm all geared up to write another Dramione! Of course this will lack in all of the smut (boo), but hopefully you'll love it just the same. I'm thinking this'll be a multi-chaptered fic, chronicling the exploits of the Grangers on their annual summer reunion! (What is it with me and reunions?) I always liked the idea of Hermione's family (which happened to be a lot of posh snots) meeting richer-than-rich Draco Malfoy, who also happened to be the paramour of little bookish Hermione, and the rest of her very attractive male friends. I'd like to point out, before you get yourselves all worked up, that one needn't have read my other story Class Reunions to enjoy this one. If you have, wonderful, if you haven't all the same. Enjoy!**

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** Characters**: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, (there's more that'll be mentioned later)

**Timeline:** Summer, Post-Hogwarts (One could consider that this and my other story, Class Reunions take place in the same AU, and this is several years after those events)

**Disclaimer:** I hold no claim to any characters or elements in this story that belong to, or are the intellectual property of JK Rowling, her publisher, or Warner Bros.

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_ Hermione Granger did not like reunions of any sort. Whether family, class, or office-related. All she knew was that someone ended up dancing wildly upon tables or someone ended up in tears. She was usually the one in tears. At least they weren't like holiday parties._

Hermione giggled to herself as she held the engraved invitation to her family's annual reunion, remembering the events that occurred at reunions and holiday parties in the past years or so. They were certainly memorable.

"What are you laughing at, love?" her current fiance and previous boyfriend of four years, Draco Malfoy, asked.

"Well I've just gotten the invitation to the family reunion, and you'll never believe the place this year," she said her giggles turning into all out laughs.

"Where is it then, that's making you laugh so hard? Tesco?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her middle from behind.

"Really, you expect my family to even shop at Tesco?" Hermione questioned.

"What? It's a good store, I go there plenty, plus they deliver. Anything that delivers must be a gift from god."

"Someone inform Satan since hell must be freezing over, because Draco Malfoy, spoiled-rotten extraordinaire finds it acceptable to shop at Tesco and my family of wannabe posh snots think not." Hermione said shrugging.

"Alright, you've had your laughs, now tell me: where is the reunion going to be?" he insisted, squeezing her midsection.

"At the Malfoy Hotel and Resort in Southampton." she replied smirking.

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** Wooh! Well we've gotten that knocked out of the park! Don't fret that I'll take a month or so to update (as per usual) because I've already got the next two chapter finished which I'll upload weekly. I don't plan for this to be an ultra long fic, but long italicised part at the beginning is from my other fic, Class Reunions, and I thought this would be appropriate being this is another reunion related story within the same arc of sorts. Anyways, sorry I haven't any polyvore sets for this D:, but it couldn't be done anyways for a fic like this. I apologize for any geographic inaccuracies concerning this chapter and onwards, because I'm beginning to doubt if they even have beachside resorts in Southhampton in the first place. (Look most of my information is from Google.)**

**For any of you who don't know, Tesco is a supermarket chain in the UK and the surrounding area, which isn't too bad and also delivers groceries to your door in certain areas. Sadly I live in America where we don't have such luxuries and have to venture out of doors to get food items.**

**I'll see you lot next chapter and check my profile, which I frequently update, for news. For those of you wondering I am putting Hi There Princess! under hiatus as I've just fallen out of the whole Maximum Ride fandom for the time being. If you really think you could take over the fic, then go ahead, but otherwise don't risk it like myself and writers before. In actuality I've just become a total Dramione head, the whole novelty of Fax has just worn off on me. Sorry :(. Also I'm looking for a Dramione beta. I've tried scouring the beta profile section of , which wasn't very helpful so if anyone has any suggestions or is a beta themselves please feel free to PM me.**

**Sorry about the longass AN and shortass chapter,**

**:3 ItsThatGirlAgain**


	2. Chapter 1: Stupid Little Bookworm

**Queer How Things Work Out**

**Chapter 1: Stupid Little Bookworm**

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**AUTHOR's NOTE**

**Alright I'll keep it short and sweet since you've just read the second one of the last chapter, which probably sufficed as enough AN for this whole chapter. For further reference the family reunion consists of some of the close members of her father's family and some of her mother's. Thank you everyone for your support and onward with the tale!**

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**Disclaimer:** I hold no claim to any characters or elements in this story that belong to, or are the intellectual property of JK Rowling, her publisher, or Warner Bros.

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Ariana Grey Montaine was proud to consider herself a true gem of society. Of course she was anything but, but that's besides the point. She was perfect, and no one could rival her. No one except the thorn in her side, her older cousin, "little Hermione".

Ugh. Stupid bookworm and her stupid school and her stupid trips and just stupid.

Hermione was the apple of her uncles' and aunts' eyes, even above their own children, fortunately her mother wasn't prey to the girl's charms, but even her own father had taken an admiration to the girl. Hermione was always the center of attention, because of the special school she went to and her highly esteemed place at work and so on and so on. Ariana was always second to a girl no one ever even saw. The last time Hermione had come to one of these family reunions must've been when Ariana was still in year 11. And that was probably 10 years ago! Every year it was the same excuse, "Hermione is traveling abroad doing research", "Hermione is guest of honor at a work function", "Hermione is giving a speech at a charity ball". Blech.

Of course Ariana wasn't alone in her angst against Hermione. The other Granger cousins, Mirabelle, Drew, Trish, and Beatrice all agreed that Hermione was a know-it-all, stick-in-the-mud. The only one who didn't have a personal vendetta against her was the youngest, Georgia, who being only 13, didn't know Hermione very well.

"So will Hermione be joining us this year?" Ariana's mother, Diane asked her sister-in-law, Jean.

"Actually yes," she replied to their surprise. "Hermione has decided to take some time off this season and come see her family. Besides"-she added a conspiratorial whisper-"Hermione has an important announcement for us all."

"Probably won the Nobel Prize for her work with the spotted toad-jungle cat hybrid in the remote jungles of the Orient," Ariana muttered under her breath.

"What was that dear?" Her mother and aunt asked at the same time.

"Nothing mum, Auntie Jean, I just said I'm going to find Trish, I didn't see her come in with the others." she replied with a fake smile plastered across her face.

"Oh, well run along then, why don't you, Ariana," her mother said with a raised eyebrow.

Ariana sprinted across the lobby, towards the front doors where she saw Trish and her family walk in.

"Trish!" she squealed running towards the girl.

"Hey there ma cousine," Trish said hugging her cousin. "Ca va?"

"As much as the french is cool, english, if you please?"

Trish laughed, then scanning the lobby she said, "So does Hermione have some excuse not to be here again?"

"No," Ariana replied. "She's actually coming this year!"

"You kid!"

"Nope! Although I bet she's been ejected from society and that's why miss high-and-mighty thought to grace us with our presence!"

The two laughed as the other cousins (save sweet Georgia) came to join them at the doors. After cooing over Mirabelle's growing baby bump, the conversation gravitated towards Hermione and her mysterious appearance this year. They soon began to laugh at the jokes they each made about Hermione. Then as Mirabelle was telling a clever tale about Hermione when they were younger, the loud revving of a fast moving vehicle came from behind them, outside the lobby doors. They turned around to spot a sleek Mercedes-Benz SLK Class pull up in front of the hotel. And in the driver's seat of the two-door convertible was none other than...

Hermione!

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**AUTHOR's NOTE**

**Alrighty all, that was fun! To specify, in case you had some trouble understanding, here is a list of the cousin's and their relation to Hermione as well as their ages:**

**Mirabelle: eldest cousin at age 36 and daughter of George's eldest sister Allison**

**Drew: second-eldest at age 34 and daughter of George's eldest sister Allison**

**Ariana: younger than Hermione at age 31 and daughter of George's older sister Diane**

**Trish: younger than Hermione at age 30 and daughter of George's younger brother Timothy**

**Beatrice: second-youngest at age 26 and daughter of George's youngest brother Ryan**

**Georgia: youngest cousin at age 13 and daughter of Jean's younger sister Karen**

**I'll include other characters and their relation to Hermione as they come along. Otherwise a Mercedes-Benz SLK Class car is very much a real thing, and you can find it on the mercedes-benz british website if you really want to see it for yourself. It's a really pretty car. Two-doors and a convertible! Perfect! Thanks for reading and I'll have chapter 2 in about a week (as promised) also I'm still on the lookout for betas!**

**That's all for now,**

**:3 ItsThatGirlAgain**


	3. Chapter 2: Who Are You & What Have You D

**Queer How Things Work Out**

**Chapter 2: Who Are You, and What Have You Done With Hermione?**

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** AUTHOR's NOTE**

**Heyo all! Great to talk with you again! I am doing so good at updating in a timely manner, you all should be so proud of me! So, the beginning of this chapter is going to be more of the collective POV of the cousins, but will later gravitate towards Ariana, just for your future reference. Otherwise, you know how I said I wasn't going to make any Polyvore sets this time? Well I lied. Not on purpose, really, but I couldn't resist.**

**Hermione's outfit this chapter (Day 1):**

** .com(slash)cgi(slash)set?id=79388510**

**Alrighty then, let us immerse ourselves in the story:**

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The cousins stood shocked to see their dumpy unattractive (by their ridiculous standards) cousin so.. well so _attractive_. At seeing her car the valets rushed from their post to assist her, one opening the door, another helping her get out of her seat, the third opening her trunk to retrieve her luggage, which was handed off to a ready bellboy, they were shocked. After all, who was this girl to come here acting like she was running things?

Hermione, though, had certainly improved since when they'd last seen her. She was dressed to the nines in the most current fashions, her entire outfit certainly out of their budgets. Hermione wore off-white bow front blouse, black pencil skirt, and fashionable matching pumps along with a matching tote handbag. She also wore light makeup and some demure sapphire earrings.

Spying her relatives, Hermione ran over to them, waving away the manager who had come forth to greet her, "Hi all! I'm sorry I'm late, but I got held up at work and-"

The manager, who stood looking rather put out at being dismissed, cleared his throat behind the group as Hermione gave hugs to each of her cousins, "Miss Granger, if you so please, there is a call for you."

"What, already?" she sighed pursing her lips. Then to her cousins she said, "I'll be right back!"

The cousins were flabbergasted, trying to fathom what just transpired. Just as they started to process that that was indeed "little Hermione" who they had just seen, Hermione came running back to them, her smile wide.

"Ooh yes, as I was saying, I got held up at work! Awful I know. And can you _believe_ that that call I just got was from someone at the office? The members of my department are always giving me crap about everything, despite the fact that _I'm_ the head of department! Honestly, all I ask is the reports on this research trip or that lab testing! And then the other heads are always trying to keep shunting their incompetent employees into my department, like I don't have enough idiots working for me! It's ridiculous, I tell you!" Hermione rambled. Then taking a deep breath she said, "But besides that how are you all?"

They could stand speechless at the sudden ball of personality that stood before them, talking so quickly and dressed so fine. How could this be their little Hermione?

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Ariana was baffled, amazed even, that somehow the Hermione she grew up with, had become this beautiful person full of life and certainly high in status. That little green monster inside of her that had sat dormant in Hermione's absence made a comeback and possibly for good.

She and the others stood aside as their other relations rushed over to dote upon Hermione. Complimenting her fashion choices and asking about her job to which she animatedly replied to all of their questions. It was then that Ariana spied the distinctive glimmer of a.. _no... it couldn't be... it was_!

Hermione was wearing an engagement ring though she tried hiding it behind her large bag. _Oh this ought to be good_, Ariana thought to herself, smiling conspiratorially.

Clearing her throat and speaking loudly over the hoard Ariana said, "Is that an engagement ring you've got there Hermione?"

Instantly the brunette blushed, her talkative nature fading within seconds. A silence settled over the group and then- the questions began:

"Engaged?"

"Since when?"

"Will we get to meet him?"

"Is he going to be here?"

"Is it even a he?"

At the last one everyone's head swiveled to Beatrice's mother, Marjorie, who spoke the question.

"What, it's a valid question!" she stated reproachfully. "But honestly Hermione, tell us about this mystery man... or woman."

"Well, we went to school together... Oh and yes! He's in fact a male. Umm.. yeah." Hermione said. "Well in other news, I've spoken with the manager, I've upgraded everyone's rooms to 'Rose Suites' over in the Garden Wing, I hope you don't mind. They're really nice though, I've stayed there frequently, each suites got a little a terrace and a small garden that leads to the beach! It's nice, I think you'll love it. Oh and here are your new room keys"-she passed out one to each person-"Now if you'll all just follow me towards our wing, don't worry the bell hops have already moved your bags to your new rooms."

They came to the suites and Hermione smiled as everyone checked out their rooms. The group raised their eyebrows in approval, realizing the that the Rose Suites were quite expensive and quite a step up from the rooms that were previously rented. Seeing that Hermione hadn't entered any of the doors in the corridor, Ariana went up to her.

"So which one is your room Hermione?"

"I'm not staying on this floor," she answered simply.

"Well, then where will you be?"

"Oh if you need me, I'll be at room 643, you'll need to call up through the hotel phone first though."

"And why's that?"

With a smirk Hermione said, "Well it's one of the penthouses, you see, so I'd have to let the elevator let you in."

Ariana stood agape. A _penthouse_? She couldn't imagine what Hermione needed a whole penthouse for and how she even got one. In fact, she didn't believe Hermione even _had_ a penthouse suite!

"Well can I come with you to see your_ penthouse_?" she asked snidely.

Hermione shrugged and turned to walk back to elevators, signalling for Ariana to follow which she did eagerly.

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**AUTHOR's NOTE**

**I hope you liked this chapter! It's certainly my longest by far, although I anticipate I'll be writing even longer ones! Omg it's 1:42am. apparently I am very productive in the early hours of the am! *Sigh* I honest to god belong on the other side of the world. In other news I'm probably going to be making more Polyvore sets, despite what I might of said earlier, but only for specific outfits or occasions. Also for links to my sets, you might going to have to add the "www . polyvore ." yourself since the website is such an ass when it comes to posting links. If all else fails PM me. Well I'd like to give a major THANK YOU for all of your story favourites and follows and the like, although it would be great if you guys actually reviewed the story being that I've only got four little sad reviews at the moment (boo) and it would be nice if I had, oh I don't know, SIX! Otherwise I'm still on a hunt for a beta, so if you know of one or are one PLEASE PM ME. Okay I've got to go like... now because I've morning classes tomorrow (shit).**

**Bye!**

**:3 ItsThatGirlAgain**


	4. Chapter 3: You're Engaged to a Convict?

**Queer How Things Work Out**

**Chapter 3**

**You're Engaged to a Convict!?**

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** AUTHOR's NOTE**

**Hi again lovelies! Well first of all, I can't do math (surprise, surprise) and I only had three reviews :( at the time of writing that last AN, but get this- you wanna talk about irony? Well as of writing this AN I got 3 more reviews (big thanks to virginger, dutch potterfan, THGHPforever14, V.O.L. 2, Sparxfly93, LilacRosez), so I've ended up with SIX REVIEWS! Who woulda thunk? Anyways, I've decided to do something I did in the short while I wrote "Hi There, Princess!", which is to have a "Song-of-the-Chapter" type thing. Of course you guys can submit a song, but for now I'll be choosing. So for this chapter I'm going to say "Cancun" by Approaching Nirvana (which I just discovered this morning and love already) because I'm pretty sure Hermione wants to be in Cancun right now rather than this family reunion! Alright I'm rambling, y'all can start reading now!**

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**Disclaimer:** I hold no claim to any characters or elements in this story that belong to, or are the intellectual property of JK Rowling, her publishers, or Warner Bros.

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The two women stood across from each other in the elevator, the only sound coming from speakers overhead from which came a light airy jazz.

"So have you seen the latest issue of Glamour?" Ariana asked, clearing her throat. "They did an exposé on some of the hottest men in Britain. In fact, the owner's of this hotel, Draco Malfoy, was featured on it, second only to Alex Pettyfer."

Hermione smiled, nodding as she remembered the whole week in which Draco gloated about his esteemed place on the "Sexy List" as he so eloquently put it.

"Soooo," Ariana said, fishing for conversation topics. "How did you manage to get us such good suites and a penthouse for yourself?"

"I'm well acquainted with the owners," Hermione answered shortly.

Intrigued, Ariana persisted, "What do you mean by acquainted?"

"Well I went to school with Draco. Draco Malfoy," she said plainly, choosing not reveal the true nature of her "acquaintance" with her cousin.

Ariana's jaw dropped, but before she could say anything else, a cool automated female voice from above, saying, "You have reached floor 12, please enter your key before proceeding."

Hermione turned to a lock next to the floor six button, in which she placed a special key, and the doors slid open. As they entered into a small, greatly decorated foyer. To their left was a set of already opened double door which led to another hall which Hermione led her into. As they walked up the short hall, a butler appeared at the end.

"Ahh Miss Granger, how nice to see you!" he greeted her warmly. "And who might this be?"

Hermione smiled at the man, "This is my cousin, Ariana Montraine, she's staying in the hotel with the rest of my family this week."

"Ahh, well I expect I shall be seeing them soon," he said. "Now would you like to take your tea in the parlour or shall I bring it to the study? Although your fiance has already taken up residence there." He chuckled.

Hermione paled, "No, no, Michael, we'll take it in the parlour, leave my fiance to work. And if he asks for me, tell him I am otherwise engaged and do not wish to see him."

Hermione took her cousin's hand and pulled her quickly up the hall, through an oval shaped room, past an elegant dining room, and into a large parlour.

"So what do you think?" she asked, smiling much too brightly as she pushed the other girl into a chair and sat herself opposite.

Looking around the large room with it's expensive furniture and overall beauty, Ariana said, "Well I've never been anyplace like it."

Hermione nodded. But before another awkward silence could set in, a ball of orange fur, bolted across the floor, flying at Hermione's lap.

Ariana screamed and Hermione shrieked, "CROOKSHANKS WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Crookwhat?" Ariana asked gasping, looking at the ball of fur which was now snuggling into her cousin.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" Hermione said pushing Crookshanks off her lap.

He yowled indignantly and stalked out of the hall as another butler appeared in the doorway.

"Is everything alright, madams?" he asked kindly. "Your fiance was quite agitated at the noise, Miss Granger."

"Oh it was nothing, just Crookshanks," said Hermione trying to catch her breath. "Tell him not worry."

The butler nodded and turned out of the room.

"Okay, what was _that_?" Ariana asked sounding very distraught.

"Oh it was my cat, Crookshanks," she said airily. "He must have been very excited to see me, although I expected he would have been left at home.I suspect my fiance must have brought him along." she added distastefully.

"Sorry for not mentioning, but I didn't want him home alone," an aristocratic masculine drawl called from another room.

Ariana started, not expecting the other voice, "You call that _thing_ a _cat_?".

"I said the same when I first met him," the voice called once again.

"Oh here we go again!" Hermione said exasperated. "Honestly, he's only a cat, it's not his fault he's got such an ugly mug! It's how God made him!"

"Or rather in a past life he was so mean that God _cursed_ him that way," chuckled the voice.

"Crookshanks is not mean!" Hermione argued.

"Yeah sure, tell that to Ron and Boy Wonder," the voice said again. "Speaking of Potty, Pansy said to tell you that they'll be coming along for this reunion of yours. Oh and Blaise and Ginny, too."

"Coming along meaning..." Hermione asked while stirring her tea.

"Meaning that they'll be staying in the penthouse, here with us."

Hermione pouted, "Must your friends always impose themselves on us all the time?"

"Well _excuse_ me for saying, but I was under the impression that ol' Scarhead and the Weaselette were your friends as well, love."

Hermione's forming scowl deepened, "Well why would you tell them yes?"

"Because they're our _friends_ and if it wasn't for Potter's good word I'd be rotting away in-"

"Alright, I see your point!" Hermione said stopping him before he said "Azkaban".

"Rotting in where?" Ariana asked, intrigued.

"Jail," the voice said indifferently.

Ariana's hand flew to her mouth and she looked at Hermione aghast.

"_Jail_?" she cried scandalized.

Hermione shrugged indifferently, sipping her tea.

"Oh my god Hermione," Ariana shrieked in a hurried whisper. "You're engaged to a _convict_?"

"I prefer the term_ rogue_," the voice said playfully. "And I was never really convicted so I still count as an innocent man, thank you very much."

"I won't have it! Oh my god Hermione, I may not like you, but I won't let you marry a murderer!" she shrieked again trying to pull Hermione to her feet.

"Good god, he never killed anyone!" Hermione said laughing at her cousin's antics, but then added in a mock whisper, "intentionally."

Ariana gave and all out scream and made to run for the exit when she ran straight into a solid mass of man.

"Hello there, love," came the words of the man her cousin was engaged to- the convict!

She stared wide eyed at the man as she took him in. Dressed in a plain grey t shirt and well fitting jeans; white blonde tousled hair, strong chin, and signature mischievous grin.

Why the man she had been talking to, the one she almost ran away from, was none other that Mr. Gorgeous himself-

Draco Malfoy!

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**AUTHOR's NOTE**

**Alright you all can banish me or whatever it is you do to punish a person who has insulted the honor of their family, because I haven't posted in so long. It's not like I'm trying to do what I did with Class Reunions by taking 10,000 years to upload the next chapter, because I'm not. I'm just lazy. I'm sure by this point everything and anything I said in my first AN is invalid because I started writing this chapter on Saturday and now it is Friday (namely my excitement concerning my reviews for ****_this_**** story).**

**So if you haven't noticed, I wrote a Dramione oneshot (by the name of "And This is Where They Parted") to which surprisingly has not gotten the rave reviews I hope for. In fact some coward guest said- and I quote- "pet is what northerns use when they're over the age of 35 and live in a council house" concerning my usage of Hermione calling Draco her pet. I laughed long and hard at this, mind you. All in all I find this very offensive to northerners and people over 35 who live in a council house. I'm sure there are plenty of non-northern, under 35 year old people who don't live in council homes and still call people pet. My uncle and grandmother on my mother's side call me pet. Although both are plenty over 35, neither are northerners or live in council homes. Like honest to god my grandmother would attempt to behead you if you suggested such a thing of her. (She comes from old money and is all proper and shit, whilst my uncle is a diplomate of sorts.) In short, I'm still kinda pissy from that review, because I thought it was cute, but ya know what anon? Fuck you. I find your face offensive. Damn british people, always hating on Americans, for not knowing everything about your damp little rock. But I'm just here like, "who are you to judge me on my culture and my perception of your culture based on what I am exposed to from said culture". It ain't a walk in the park ya know. Hell, it was a culture shock to move from New York to Florida when I was younger and back to New York for college. Alright I'm rambling here, but I had to get that off my chest.**

**Otherwise I'm proud of the whopping 1063 of story this chapter (excluding ANs)! So I hope you don't murder me for the cliffie or for introducing Draco too early (yeah I know I suck) and I'll ttync (talk to you next chapter).**

**:3 ItsThatGirlAgain**


	5. Chapter 5: Author's Note

**AUTHOR's NOTE**

**Alright you guys, I'm sorry to do this to you, but as I forgot to mention it in my last update, I thought it would be best if I mention here. For this week and the next I will not, repeat NOT, be updating any of my stories, uploading any new stories, etc. etc. I wish I'd be able to, but I've got a whole bunch of big important exams these next two weeks that I have to be rested and study for. For that reason, there will be no updates. Sorry D:**

**See you guys in May,**

**:3 ItsThatGirlAgain**


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